Monday, February 4, 2013

The Thing About Resolutions


Well, sort of. At least it's still January, right? At least it's we're only 1/12 into the year, right? (Can you tell I started this post a few weeks ago?)

Last fall was a long one. I spent a lot of time battling Crohn's symptoms, seemed to be continually sick with a virus and was dealing with the side effects of steroids. The kids fought their own bugs, and our nights were interrupted by sleep issues (the steroids didn't help). Throw in some work travel for both my husband and me, and I was utterly exhausted. Getting through the week felt like running in water - it was exhausting, and I felt helpless to do anything about it; shore seemed so far away.

I looked forward to that peaceful lull between Christmas and New Year's (yes, it can happen if you plan it right) with the same fervor that our children anticipated Santa's visit. Thankfully, I was not disappointed - it was everything I hoped it would be! Our children had a blast, we had fun, we visited family and some family visited us. We ate well, slept well, reconnected, and made some wonderful memories. It was truly fulfilling and refreshing.

As the new year started, armed with energy, I decided to come up with some New Year's Resolutions. I wanted to focus on my health, marriage, and parenthood. This was SUCH a great idea at a time - you know, when I was rested, full of energy, and not juggling work and home. And happened.

Alas, we're one month into the year and I feel thwarted. You see, I'm one of those Type-A, goal-setting, list-making people who likes to check things off in the time frame expected (life has given me several slap-in-the-face lessons about letting go of this, but to some degree, I'm fighting nature, here).

I may feel thwarted, but I've decided that I don't feel like a failure. You see, the thing about resolutions is that we don't make them in a vacuum, and we don't accomplish (or fail) them in a vacuum. There's this thing called life - and as they say, "life is what happens when you're making other plans resolutions."

You can pretty much plan on the unexpected happening. There will most certainly be an illness, a child who won't stay in bed or has nightmares, an unexpected work trip, a late night at work to make a deadline. 2013 has proven no different.

But I'm not going to let that stop me; it doesn't mean I've failed. It means I should keep going. Because regardless, I'm trying to be a better person, mother, and wife. So what if I'm not checking everything off my list according to the timeline I set out? Maybe I should shift my focus to one resolution. To be less hard on myself? To let things go, and celebrate when I am able to achieve my goals?

My resolution for February on forward is to be more realistic. I'll continue to make lists and set goals, but I will need to stagger them. First up, we are working through some parenting decisions that will get us more sleep. With more rest, I'll have more resolve to tackle the next thing(s). Realistically, I will also need to ask for more help along the way (something I am not good at), or just let things happen when they can. But no matter what, I'll get there.

No comments:

Post a Comment