Monday, December 3, 2012

My Birthday Wish

Today is my 37th birthday.

Whew! Typing that number out makes it feel even bigger than it is!

I know, you're not supposed to share your birthday wishes, or they won't come true. But this one I will. This year, as have done for a number of years now, I wish for good health (or, at a minimum, no hospitalizations). I wish this not only for myself, but for my sons, my husband...for my whole family.

I don't remember exactly what I wished for earlier in life - in the "healthy years." I'm sure somewhere along the lines were a job, success, love, and some material things. Those things matter less, especially now that we have children. But I do wish for them to be healthy, to have many opportunities, to be kind, giving, and to learn from their mistakes. I wish for them to be successful and happy.

This year, I was sick for my birthday. That ill-timed cold I came down with last week turned into a full-blown fever (quite possibly the flu) and eventually settled into my head and lungs as a sinus infection and bronchitis. I've been miserable for days. Fortunately, I have a script for antibiotics, and things are on the upswing! Honestly, I'm glad that's all it is.

This bug I've caught is an annoyance, and may or may not be connected to my weakened immune system. It's also a reminder that lately, I have been sick a lot. I have struggled in the past few months to control my Crohn's disease, adjusting meds and my diet; making extra trips to the clinic for labs and check-ups. It's a frustrating proposition and it can take a toll emotionally and mentally at times. I accept that this is what life will be for me, and I acknowledge that it could be so much worse.

But for the aforementioned those reasons, I (selfishly?) wish for health. Because it gives me a little more freedom to be an active Mom. It makes me feel like I can give everything I can to parenthood, my marriage, and my career. For awhile, it makes me feel superhuman, no matter how long my reprieve may be.

And so today, I close my eyes and I wish, wish, wish so hard....for health.

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